Stephanie Tanner’s Makeout Party Mixtape

gia from Full House

Who are the rebel icons who inspired your wild spirit in your formative years? David Bowie? Courtney Love? Gia from Full House?

Yeah, Gia from Full House. Me too. Because she started smoking when she was 11 and threw makeout parties and had a perpetual jean jacket that epitomized the word “bitchin.” Clearly I was a Stephanie Tanner (precocious sarcastic nerd rocking questionable haircuts) tryna be a DJ (good at school, boys, and having blonde hair/ editor of the school newspaper). But Gia was maybe my first exposure to a TV bad girl, (even though they reformed her in later seasons and made her a fun loving side kick, who knows why, we all know that role belonged to Kimmy Gibler). Her final rebellion pre-sidekick transition takes place in one of my favorite sitcom episodes—the one, the only, “Making Out Is Hard to Do.”

After school special style episodes of all 90s family sitcoms are clearly the best, and “Making Out Is Hard To Do” is no exception. Gia throws a lights-out, frenching-fest while her mom is working the night shift at the restaurant. Stephanie, of course, shows up with a board game. But even she can’t escape the strong desire to mack, which she does, briefly, before (25 YEAR OLD SPOILER YOU GUYS) she calls home for a ride and the party gets busted by one of our nation’s filthiest comedians.

I fulfilled my life long dream of becoming an early 90s makeout party DJ with this playlist, and answered the question on all of our minds: What would Gia put on her makeout party mixtape? Lets take a closer look:

  • “Satellite” by Dave Matthews Band: Oh Gia, little do you know that this will remain the makeout music du jour for the next several decades of bros. And no one can completely avoid the siren song of bros. Look forward to OAR.
  • “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base: Because it is the 90s and it is mandatory and you already ruined “I Saw the Sign,” or maybe you do that in the future? There are limits to my Full House knowledge. There aren’t many, but there are some.
  • “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star: Obviously swiped from the tape deck of a brooding college aged older sister who we never see. I imagine her coming home on breaks with a backpack full of zines and feelings and a Tiger Trap tape.
  • “The Sweetest Taboo” by Sade: Falls into the “stolen from mom” category, a category that, if the show had gone on for three more seasons, would’ve included the station wagon and some cheap chardonnay.
  • “Back And Forth” by Aaliayah: The jam, forever and always. Pairs well with makeout party mainstays like “I’ll Make Love to You” and “Dreamlover.”

Hey—were early 90s hits racy in a way that feels, while technically less explicit in language, more frankly sexual? I used to sing the words to many of these songs, loudly, whenever I got the chance, and the results of relistening now are blush-worthy.

Anyway—go forth. Makeout. Channel you inner rebellious teen. Meet me in the comments for a 90s nostalgia party—your favorite cringeworthy early 90s song, or Full House episode. GO!

Summer 2014 Belongs to Burger Records

burger records image

It’s summertime, kids—time to get the highest SPF and the fuzziest guitar hooks. The season is four days old, but already a musical success, because I finally have a name for the genre of music that I want to listen to from February through August (yes, I start rebellious summer music season early—Bay Area, no seasons, you know the drill). “Suburban perma-teen mutants.” Or “sugary, eccentric power pop and audacious garage rock, extolling a carefree message of love, music and DIY attitude.”

Basically, if Burger Records touched it, I want in. They’re part indie record label, part cassette evangelist, part record store, part “rock n roll philanthropic quasi-religious borderline-cultish propaganda spreading group of suburban perma-teen mutants.” They sum up my summer 2014 sound, and I’m hoping you’ll get equally obsessed. Here are five starter songs from five bands with Burger Records connections that belong on your summer playlists.

“Sweetest Talk” by Habibi 

I’m in a fight with Spotify Radio right now. Buddy, we get it, I love Habibi, but I’m getting to that territory where I know it’s too much and I’m on the edge of burn out.

I’ve gotta be careful. This isn’t a Top 40 jam that I want to OD on and discard. This is a classic, the kind of album I’ve been waiting for, one that deserves a dedicated dance party beyond the one occurring daily in my living room. Do you like the kind of Motown girl group inspired, indie rock songs that demands twitchy syncopated dancing, turned up speakers and rolled down windows? The kind of songs that make you want to drive faster and stay out later and get in a dash of trouble, because you know you have the perfect soundtrack? Here you go. Habibi. Enjoy.


“Gold Sneakers” by Wax Idols

Clock in at maybe two and a half minutes. Sound breathless. Create breathlessness. Conjure words and feelings like “giddy,” “elated,” hell…maybe even “jubilant.” Yes, light hearted garage rock can be downright jubilant in the hands of Wax Idols, especially with lyrics like “Can’t you just be happy to be alive/ Either way, I wanted you to know/ I l-l-l-love you.”

It’s a summer song recipe, all of this, and “Gold Sneakers” should be your go-to example of a summer song done right. Serve it up on every party playlist for the next three months.


“Only One” by Colleen Green

I was in DC on a business trip and I couldn’t stop calling stuff fun. It’s a verbal twitch that makes me cringe—one part stress, one part exhaustion, combine and the results for yours truly is a weird adjective fixation. I unknowingly pick one and embrace it, hard.

Colleen Green is fun though—in fact, she might be the funnest, and this is no twitch (I know this for a fact, since I just went to an event where inexplicably everything was “awesome.” Sigh.). “Only One” is a rare tribute to awesome boyfriends. The lyrics are straight forward loving relationship gems, undisturbed by jealousy or cynicism. The high potential for cheesiness (the chorus is “Uh huh/ Oh yeah/ I really love my boyfriend”) is mitigated by Colleen Green’s sweet distorted vocals and all around relentless coolness.


“Dreamphone” by Peach Kelli Pop

Suburban summer time blues get the twinkly vaguely retro treatment with “Dreamphone.” It’s all sitting in your room alone, a head dizzy with calls you want to make but never will. A baby blue phone under your pillow; crushes and longing all dressed up with bells and cymbals and yummy fuzzy vocals. In an alternate universe, we all wear little pastel dresses and play bass guitar and this is a summer hit.


“Generator” by Gap Dream

Weird dreamy pop, with that stretched out sound like bodies slowing down in heat. Words tumble out like they’re clinging to the tongue. Underneath it all, the steady clap, bright pockets of a borderline surf rock sound.

It’s almost never drag hot here—maybe a week here and there, and everyone loses their mind. Some kind of psychic energy in the city goes unhinged, unlike in Baltimore and DC where there’s a persistent low tremor of humid discontent, the kind that makes you feel mean and wild. It can be a little fun in small doses, when you misbehave in small ways and the mean never quite sets in. You stay out a little too late, you say the wrong right thing. “I’ve got a funny feeling/ everything’s gonna be alright/ You always do things better at night,” Gap Dream teases on repeat at the end. Spot on parting words for sweaty summer malcontents.

Top 5 Underappreciated Summer Songs

nate summer jam collage

By Nate Logan 

Consider adding some of these songs to your rotation this summer for added poppy vibes. Honestly, how many times can you listen to Best Coast and “Boys of Summer” without getting a little bored?

“It Must Be Summer” by Fountains of Wayne

Though probably more well-known these days for their song “Stacy’s Mom” and it’s very summer-centric music video, “It Must Be Summer” is a cut off Utopia Parkway that shouldn’t be looked over. This song is about having the summer blues. The song’s protagonist is trying to get in touch with a romantic prospect, but she’s nowhere to be found. The protagonist calls his prospect’s mother, sister, and the prospect herself, “but [she’s] just not there.” Simple, catchy, relatable, and better than “Stacy’s Mom.”


“One Summer Night” by that dog.

This song by Los Angeles’ that dog. (featuring two of the three famous Haden triplets, Rachel and Petra) recalls a female protagonist telling the tale of a crush on an older boy (“I asked him if he’d write me when he went away to school, and he said, ‘maybe’”). Propelled by Rachel Haden’s bass, this song is split into four parts: two verses, a slow bridge, second two verses, and a slow ending bridge. What strikes me most about the song is the ending—it’s drawn out much longer than it has to be and features some gorgeous, melancholy violin from Petra Haden.


“A Sweet Summer’s Night on Hammer Hill” by Jens Lekman

Handclaps! Trumpet! A chorus of voices singing, “Bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp!” There’s a lot to love about this song. Not to be confused with “Another Sweet Summer’s Night on Hammer Hill,” this song is a fun, dance-inducing number by Lekman that’s infectious in the best possible way. The “Oh, no!” breakdown in the middle of the song begs to be dissected and sung aloud by a group of you and your friends as you head out for adventure this summer.


“Summer Babe (Winter Version)” by Pavement

I don’t know if this exactly qualifies as an underappreciated summer song, but Pavement should appear somewhere on any mix of summer songs. Listening to Stephen Malkmus eek out “tourtuuuuure” in the third verse is reason along to seek out this song, though I imagine this song qualifies as “required familiarity” for many Pavement fans. Check out the Luxe & Reduxe version of Slanted and Enchanted for a high-energy live version.


“I Hate Summer” by Fucked Up

You can’t escape the heat of summer, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rail against it. There’s actually a sweet sentiment woven through this song (“One day let’s set up a home / Where it’s winter all year long / Boots, hats and winter mitts / Summer nights I will not miss”). But also it’s an appreciation song for fall, which everyone knows is the best season. You’ll probably be singing this song sometime in July or August when summer is at its worst, though maybe not with the same intense, guttural vocal delivery. This song will probably work best at the end of your summer mix.

So Hot Right Now: May 2014 (by Claire)

sidewalk flowers

I’ve had mountains of things to say to you kids about music this past month. Like if Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings come to your town, cancel your plans and go see them, unless you’re not a fan of rollicking funk dance parties and uncontrollable glee. And if you see Valerie June maybe tell her a joke, because she seemed pretty glum when she played the Fillmore (and if you don’t see her, go listen to Pushin’ Against A Stone, but that’s not news—I’ve been offering that unsolicited advice since last August.) Also if you want to have a really long talk about Andre 3000, I’m your girl. Drop me a line. And find this five track set on Spotify where he discusses his top 10 songs for going out, which includes:

  • Him waxing poetic on the piece of bubblegum he’s chewing
  • A shout out to Billy Joel
  • A description of Steely Dan parties, where people come together and try to decipher the lyrics (Are these real? I need to know. Leave me a comment if you’ve been to one of these, seriously.)

And the part in “Sixteen” by Rick Ross where Andre 3000 announces that he’s a merman—-look, do you want to get coffee and talk about Andre 3000? I want to get coffee and talk about Andre 3000. I’m very prepared and always undercaffeinated.

But I have been, as Joshua mentioned last month, silly busy. So lets skip to May. (If you’re very very curious about what I listened to in April, go listen to Joshua’s excellent April So Hot Right Now. Or listen to my extremely similar playlist.)

I want everything to sound like Habibi right now. Joyful and retro and ready to pair with long summer nights in small vintage dresses. I want everything to feel exactly like “I’ve Got the Moves” which I wish would play the second I step on to any dance floor for the next month, at least. “High School Lover” sounds nothing like my new favorite Brooklyn girl quartet, but does sound like old school Strokes and nostalgic teen rebellion, which in the throes of this rare San Francisco heat wave, both sound like a very good idea.

Yes, it’s nearly summer. Lets dance and be raucous and play everything too loud. Carefree with a nearly addictive hook—that’s what I’m going for mixtape-wise this month. “Lets Get Drunk And Get It On” fits the bill. It’s a choice gem from the new Old 97’s album, whose origin story I imagine started with Rhett Miller stomping into a room full of bandmates and announcing “Okay…so lets make the most Old 97s sounding Old 97s record possible,” then sticking to a diet of classics like “Barrier Reef” and Wild Turkey.

There’s a triumphant return from bands I forgot I loved: Slow Club, Bleached, and Operator Please. “Complete Surrender” sounds like it’s from a whole new band, but I still can’t stop playing it, while “Back and Forth” has somehow made me love Operator Please even more than before. And speaking of returns, welcome back to the mix Leftover Salmon and Taj Mahal version of “Lovin’ In My Baby’s Eyes,” one of my favorite versions of one of my favorite songs. The 20 charming seconds of Taj Mahal talking in the intro always makes me smile.

You’re up: Tell me absolutely everything you’re listening to right now. Or your favorite Andre 3000 fact. Or your plans for a Steely Dan lyrics party. I want to hear it all—go!

So Hot Right Now, March 2014: The All Hits Scrapbook (by Claire)

One time everyone was at the apartment carving pumpkins and, having exhausted everything new that I had in rotation, I played my Happy Songs mixtape. Every time a new song played Amy looked up, happy and alarmed, and announced “All of the hits!” It was my all time favorite mix tape compliment.

Usually I want to offer this bouquet of musical discoveries. I want you to hear exactly what I’ve been listening to for the past month (or, more often, week). And then I forget, in the rush of so much new, all the old things I love listening to most of all. It’s comfort food, something good and warm for the soul.

I felt kind of overwhelmed by the present and the future these part few weeks, so I bopped around in the past and pulled together something that me at any age would call “All of the hits!” I’ve been time traveling a little with this playlist. Here’s where I’ve been going:

1. The first time I remember hearing “I’m Waiting for the Man,” I was 21 years old and it was the favorite song of the four-year-old girl I was babysitting. I was sitting in that house with the girl’s mom, taking a break from painting in the garage, paint smears on her loose clothes, her charming light eyes and short short hair. The house smelled like baby shampoo and sliced bread gone stale and some sweet arid food smell that lingered no matter what I cooked for dinner. “Sure, you can listen to it one more time,” the mom said, so we listened to it three times in a row and the girl danced around and the grownups grinned. For some reason, everything about this moment was great. Baby’s first Lou Reed jam.

2. It was very dark grey all the time and most mornings my car valiantly tried to start but wasn’t up to it. I was 19, living in Baltimore, and working at the music memorabilia shop a couple days a week. The staff smoked cigarettes in the rain and ate steamy plastic vats of glossy Chinese food from the same awful carry out place every day. I scrawled the names of records and reorganized knick knacks, wrote copy, but mostly I walked around the musty mini warehouse, sifting through the comforting chaos of musical oddities. I played Get Behind Me Satan nonstop for at least two months.

3. It was the middle of the night and I had just tracked down the High Fidelity soundtrack. Like a guardian angel, that movie kept appearing on TV the second I plopped down on that tremendous couch in that tremendous house, two sweet dogs with little old man faces illegally crawling onto the leather to curl up in a ball by my side. Outside was Australia, but I was always inside, sleeping or working or having no money to do much of anything. But it was nice sometimes, those long dark hours in the middle of the night, when I wrote and drank espresso and listened to what I wanted to listen to. Sometimes Joshua and Noura were up and I’d have maybe my second conversation of the day. “Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam” is sitting in the dark, content and caffeinated, finally putting a name and a band to a song I’d been wanting to track down for years.

*************************

“Honey Love” is dazzlingly sweet, from images to title to sound, upbeat and cheerful. “Cussin’ Cryin’ and Carryin’ On” will guarantee that you never forget the awesomeness of Tina Turner again. “Let’s Go” sounds like the start of a big adventure.

And you’ve heard the rest of these, right? It feels a little bizarre to lay out the basics of “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard” to you.

What are you listening to this month? Have you been doing any musical time traveling? Let me know in the comments.

Mixtape Tuesday: Blizzards, Amiright? (by Claire)

Happy Mixtape Tuesday! Why is it always snowing in Maryland? Always. Every time I talk to any of my lovely Baltimore folks—snow, blizzard, more snow, rinse repeat.

In honor of the endless snow, and because I promised Joshua some jams, I made him (and you!) this blizzard mixtape. Knowing Maryland, it’s probably Spring again now. Or another blizzard. Or 100 degrees.

Some notes on the actual mixtape:

  • My vision was 80’s pop and modern garage rock sandwich.
  • But then I walked down the street listening to Talking Heads 77 and decided that “Pulled Up” is the musical equivalent of drinking a pot of coffee and blizzards are made for getting too hyped up while trapped in your house.
  • CLAIRE sounds like if Florence Welch or Hannah Reid from London Grammar decided to make pop music instead. Which Florence Welch did briefly last year, and I really enjoyed the results.
  • Every mixtape I’ve ever made for Joshua contains an out of nowhere funk/ soul interlude.
  • I cannot stop playing “Cussin’ Cryin’ and Carryin’ On.” This entire compilation of women in funk is pretty great.

Important discoveries I made while making this mixtape:

  • “Sex Dwarf” by Soft Cell—it’s not only in their top 10 songs, it’s number five! How? Who is listening to this? Are they listening to it for an 80s pop version of Spinal Tap?! Can I write for that? Call me.
  • “Now That We Found Love” by Heavy D and the Boyz heavily samples this delightful classic O’Jays song “Now That We Found Love.” Of course I didn’t find that while Googling “Pretty versions of Now That We Found Love” for my wedding ceremony…of course not….
  • Nashville Skyline has always been my favorite Bob Dylan album and I did not realize that until I actually sat down and listened to it as a palate cleanser after epic mixtape making

Songs About Andreas (by Claire)

andrea mixtape
 

Well friends, I asked if you wanted name mixtapes, and you delivered! First up: Andrea.

Unlike Josie, my life has been full of a consistent stream of Andreas. Who, like most people who share the same name, have almost nothing in common.

But Andrea songs paint a clear picture about Andreas! According to this playlist:

  • Andrea is at a 90’s nightclub somewhere in Europe, listening to techno.
  • Andrea is breaking the hearts of pop punk boys.
  • Andrea is charming the occasional indie folk type.
  • Andrea is friends with a series of European pop stars.
  • Andrea just got some bitchin’ clothes.

People have a lot to say about Andrea. People want to scream about Andrea. People sometimes want to combine the two and scream on and off about Andrea for five minutes or more. She seems to be having an excellent time though, except for that run-in at the nail salon.

Based on these songs, I would say Andrea is a fun loving, adventurous sometimes-party girl.

What are the Andreas in your life like? Does this sound right? And how much do you want to bring back “Gag me with a spoon” after listening to “Valley Girl” (So much, guys. Lets bring it back stat.)? Let me know in the comments.

So Hot Right Now, February 2014: Spring Songs for Bright Rebels (by Claire)

cherry blossoms

I don’t know what it is about February. The month is short, it’s not quite Spring. The pressure of January with its capital letter NEW YEAR IS NOW theme and all the seriousness of resolutions and behaving has passed. The sun isn’t setting quite as early. Everyone has stopped talking about diets and the holidays are way in the rearview window.

This is the second year I’ve noticed the energy that fills me up at the beginning of this month—wide awake creative energy, young and lively, the kind I remember from my teens. I’m writing a lot. I’m reading a lot of Diane Di Prima. I’m seeing friends and walking in the fresh air and drinking too much coffee. And I’m craving a very specific kind of music: Spring music.

My Spring music essentials are simple. If there are cherry blossoms on the trees, I’m probably listening to:

  • Clapping and tambourines and surf guitar.
  • All-girl bands, specifically DIY 90’s girl groups where the lead singers’ vocals are described as “bratty” and modern bands with an old school Motown girl group sound.
  • Indiepop.
  • A splash of punk.
  • Cover art that charms, that makes you want to give the band a shot (An experience that’s become nearly impossible based on how I consume music now, but I force it for fun a couple times a year because I miss the thrill).
  • Lo-fi vocals.
  • Bands with teenager in the name.
  • Songs about starting a band, waiting for summer to come, and being a redhead.

These are songs that make you feel young and alive, like you might go on a big adventure and the whole thing might take place just down the street. And for dessert, fragile lugubrious songs for a restless mope. My So Hot Right Now for February is a soundtrack for tending to your bright rebellious spirit.

What are you listening to? Is your February mixtape approach completely different from mine? Is it a bad idea to get a tattoo of “We all love you, shifty disco girl”? Let me know in the comments.

Top 5 Songs for English Majors Who Are Really Into Grammar (by Nate Logan)

Contrary to popular belief, English majors don’t just read books, talk books, and say, “The book was better than the movie.” Speaking as a member of this illustrious group of party animals, I can say without a doubt that we love good tunes almost, if not as much, as hardback first editions. Here are some songs that speak to our MLA ears.


“Oxford Comma” by Vampire Weekend

[Oxford comma: a comma between the final items in a list, often preceding the word `and' or `or', such as the final comma in the list newspapers, magazines, and books]

“Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?” Ezra Koenig sings in the first line of this song. Well, some of your professors care about it. And while it may seem a small thing at first, as you take more and more English classes, you latch onto it. Grammatical things will start to bother you, you will become entrenched in a position on the Oxford comma, among other things. Personally, I think two spaces after a period is pretty irksome.


“Parentheses” by The Blow

[parentheses: either or both of a pair of signs () used in writing to mark off an interjected explanatory or qualifying remark, to indicate separate groupings of symbols in mathematics and symbolic logic, etc.]

This is the love song for the English major into indie pop. This track from Paper Television is cute and danceable—a must for the mix you plan to give the alluring man or woman in class who always brings up punctuation when talking about poetry. “When you’re holding me / we make a pair of parentheses” makes even the most Norton-hardened heart flutter. I can’t think of a set of cozier set of grammatical marks.


“I Palindrome I” by They Might Be Giants

[palindrome: a word, line, verse, number, sentence, etc., reading the same backward as forward, as Madam, I'm Adam  or Poor Dan is in a droop.]

This is a classic older TMBG song and demonstrates, maybe more than any other TMBG song, the band’s penchant for wordplay. John Flansburgh’s sings “Man o nam / Man o nam” while John Linnell sings the song title during the choruses. The song’s numerical length is a palindrome (2:22). The most impressive palindroming comes at a lyrical bridge, where Linnell sings:

“Son I am able,” she said. “Though you scare me.”

“Watch,” said I.

“Beloved,” I said, “watch me scare you though.”

Said she, “Able am I, Son.”

Of course, this isn’t the only TMBG song that has literary references (see: “I Should Be Allowed To Think,” “Lie Still, Little Bottle,” and “Rhythm Section Want Ad” among others).

“When I Write My Master’s Thesis” by John K. Samson

You’ve graduated! Congratulations! Oh, you wanted to do something with your English degree? Time to go to graduate school and sit back as it consumes your life. John K. Samson, lead singer of The Weakerthans and a literary fellow in his own right, penned this song that is maybe too relatable for the graduate student in English. Even after completing a thesis that you’ve worked tireless on, there’s no guarantee of a stable job. But it’s not all bad news. When it’s over, the English major’s heart can rest easy. In a life outside of the Academy, there’s “No more marking first year papers / No more citing sources.”


“My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors” by Moxy Früvous

I dare you to find a song with more literary name-dropping. I can’t help singing along to this fun, a’cappela-infused song. There are books everywhere in this song which creates a lighthearted tension that escalates through the choruses: “My heart’s so broke and bleedin’ / Baby’s just sittin’ there / doin’ some readin’,”; “We’ve been livin’ in hovels / spendin’ all our money on / brand new novels.” Even though these lyrics sound a little dire, the music and harmonized vocals assure that the couple’s story ends well, and it does:

I like to go out dancing,

my baby loves a bunch of authors.

We’ll be together for ages

eatin’ and sleepin’ and (x3)…turnin’ pages.

Check out the version of this song on Live Noise for a faster, hand-clapping good time.

Songs About Josies (by Claire)

Uh oh, I forgot about Mixtape Tuesday. Happy Mixtape Wednesday?

Lets talk about names. Specifically, the name Josie.

  • I’ve never met anyone named Josie. I’ve been very informally polling people about this name all week. No one I know has ever met a Josie (which is too bad, it’s a pretty name).
  • Songwriters agree with me on that last point—Josie reigns supreme when it comes to being featured in song titles. This is a small sample of “Josie” themed songs.
  • Everyone and their mother has covered “Josie” by Steely Dan.
  •  “Josie and the Pussycats” is the only other Josie I can think of, and that’s in line with the whole musical Josie theme.
  • What was that other Hanna Barbera cartoon that was identical to Josie and the Pussycats? The lead singer was identical to Josie and they played music and solved mysteries, but they all wore bell bottoms.

Things we learn about Josie from this mixtape:

  • She wants to be in a punk rock band
  • She’s feeling mean
  • She loves fake fur
  • When she comes back to town, people rev up their motor scooters and sleep on the beach
  •  She’ll bring you Mexican food, just because
  • She is loved by 90’s bands that sound deeply 90’s, and classic country-flecked singer songwriters

Based on these songs, I would sum up Josie as a name for a beloved, delicate rebel.

For years (very specifically when I was waiting tables), I would introduce myself and people would say “You look like a Claire.” They seemed to be saying it as a compliment, though the Breakfast Club would disagree. I still have no idea what this means.

…do you know what it means? Do people associate bizarre stuff with your name?  Would you like a mixtape of songs featuring your name and a summary of your personality based on those songs? Let me know in the comments.